Of Empathy and Compassion
by Lila Mae
Summary: AU. One person could have made all the difference. He just wanted someone to accept him for who and what he was. She was exactly what Michael needed.
1. Annoyance

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate Atlantis, Colonel John Sheppard's uniform would consist of a camo-spedo and a P-90, Rodney McKay would loose ten pounds, Lt. Ford would miraculously recover from his enzyme addiction, Teyla would… be the same, Dr. Zelenka would lay the smack-down on Kavanagh, and Carson Beckett would be my naughty love muppet.

A/N: This is obviously an AU fic with an original character. If that bothers you, well… Bite me.

* * *

Annoyance -- 

1. The act of annoying or the state of being annoyed.

2. A cause of irritation or vexation; a nuisance.

3. Dr. William Kavanagh

* * *

Due to the disturbingly high mortality rate of both scientists and military personnel on the Atlantis expedition new recruits were sent along with the Daedalus whenever they set out to resupply the Atlantians. Taking shameless advantage of the situation in typical McKay fashion, Rodney has whined, requisitioned, begged, pleaded, and generally made everyone around him miserable until he got what he wanted. Her name was Dr. Megan Steele, and he didn't care what it took to bribe her to the Pegasus Galaxy, because she was ranked third in her chosen fields of expertise and he wanted her _there_. When the official okay came through he did a bit of smug crowing and happily bounced his way to the labs. 

Dr. Steele wasn't the most recognized or highly decorated member of Stargate Command, but it was a well-known secret in the Archeology, Anthropology, & Linguistics Department that she was Dr. Jackson's unofficial second in command. If not for her, it would be safe to assume that not only would the poor man go into caffeine withdrawal without her to refill his 'hidden' coffee stash, and that more likely than not, his office would overflow into the hallway and eventually take over the mountain. She was known to forcefully evict the archeologist from his office and send him to bed when she thought he had progressed from 'looking like crap' to 'looking like death warmed over'. While she was good friends with Dr. Jackson and went to see a play or two with him, she knew his team only in passing. She did, however, appreciate the occasional boxes of chocolate covered cherries and gift cards for CD Depot that Colonel (and later General) O'Neill left on her desk with a note thanking her for 'looking out for our resident spacemonkey'.

Since she was of sound mind and body, she was – unsurprisingly – assigned to an SG team. Being a member of SG-16 may never have been as constantly perilous as being a member of SG-1, but she and the others had dealt with their fair share of weird shit. Major Lorne, Lt. Sanchez, and Lt. Nelson had been forcefully stripped naked by the natives and made to do the 'Harvest of Plenty' dance on P2X-989. Megan made sure to make a video recording for use as blackmail material. Sgt. Siler was convinced to make copies and help her smuggle them out with the promise of fresh baked cookies.

The darker side of the job had made itself known when she, at one point, had been taken as a Goa'uld host. Fortunately, that had happened just before the defeat of the Goa'uld, and the Tok'ra had been able to remove the creature. To her dismay, the very man who saved her was mortally wounded in a tunnel collapse and a new host had yet to be found. Her choice to become a willing host was no more surprising than Jaren's decision to stay on earth and help work with the SGC. To say the Tok'ra High Council was unhappy would be an understatement. When General O'Neill asked her how she felt about the situation she had shrugged her shoulders and smiled mischievously, "It's like being married, only without the kinky sex part. But don't worry sir, I'm sure we'll find someone to help with that…"

Two days later she found a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs on her desk. Three days after that a whip and studded leather collar had mysteriously made their way onto the General's desk just before a meeting with Major Paul Davis.

When Megan received the invitation to join the Atlantis crew more than one person warned her that it would mean working with her 'arch- nemesis' (meaning ex-teammate) Major Lorne and the rest of his team. She had winked and told them that it was about time they had a team reunion. After all, with the recent death of her mother the closest thing she had to family was light-years away fighting the life-sucking boogey-men. The least she could do was help. Besides, Jaren was looking forward to a bit of adventure…

* * *

Dr. Megan Steele was not a happy camper. She was usually a very bubbly, outgoing kind of person. She had come in with the latest shipment of personnel on the Daedalus, and wasn't even on base three hours before she was sent off-world with a survey team to examine the ruins of an Ancient laboratory that Major Lorne's team termed 'interesting'. Jaren was busy helping her fight off some kind of bacterial infection she had picked up on her first day on the planet, and was a bit anti-social and irritable as a result. Why was she even there? She was an archeologist and linguist, not a Goddamned rocket scientist. Unfortunately she had a very strong natural ATA gene, which for some reason led Dr. Kavanagh to believe that she was his personal 'touch this' monkey minion. 

Lorne and his men had taken great pleasure in laughing in her face and making sure to tell her just how grateful they were that their 'inferior' genes came from Doc Beckett. If she ever met the man, Megan wasn't so sure she would be able to keep herself from hurting him. Then again, word had it that he only developed the treatment so that the eager scientists would stop trying to 'kidnap' him to activate shit for them. Maybe he had the right idea…

Fortunately they were on the last day of their two-week fieldtrip and were starting to pack everything up. Dr. Kavanagh, however, was whining and kicking up a fuss about how he and the others needed 'more time to methodically analyze' the equipment that was too cumbersome to take back with them through the stargate. Megan had had enough.

"Now you listen here you weasel-faced, arrogant ass…" she got right up in his face, "I don't care if the flashing shit-box turns the sky **_green_**. We are scheduled to go home **_today_**. I am sleep deprived, dirty, smelly, and cranky. I have menstrual cramps so bad all I want to do is curl up in a tiny ball of misery and die. I have been **more** than patient with your _'touch this' 'touch that' 'Oops it shouldn't have done that'_ crap. I haven't brushed my hair yet this morning, someone swiped my Snickers bar, and I am down to **_my last fucking maxi pad_**. Pack your shit up so we can leave, or so help me I will remove that which makes you male. **Understood**?"

So what if he had a good six inches on her. The self-important scientist paled and nodded meekly, "Yes ma'am." The entire team watched her stomp away in awe. Major Lorne raised a challenging eyebrow at the annoying man. Kavanagh shook his head with wide eyes, "Not on your life. I have sisters." Dr. Simpson rolled her eyes as one or two of the other men winced in agreement.

Radek's eyes glazed over as he stood in place with a smile, "I have on tape," he told the marines, "I will show it to Rodney and Colonel Sheppard. I can die now with happy smile."

Major Lorne snorted and clapped the Czech on the shoulder, "You heard the Lady people, pack it up!"

* * *

Okay peoples, this is chapter one, and if you ever want to see chapter two you had better leave me a review. Next time, on **_As Atlantis Turns_**: 

"_What's with the stupid hat?" he asked through a mouthful of mashed potatoes._

_Megan shrugged, "I chewed out that jerk Kavanagh back on planet Dirt Bowl. The marines named me Goddess and made me a crown. Major Lorne promised me two snickers bars if I wore it all day." She reached across the table to steal some of Michael's fries and give him half of her hamburger._

_Rodney choked, "You're kidding!"_

_Megan snorted, "About chocolate? Never."_


	2. Poison

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate Atlantis Carson Beckett would be my naughty love muppet, Major Lorne and Dr. Zelenka would be main characters, and Peter Grodin would not have died.

A/N: This is obviously an AU fic with an original character. I like Grodin a bunch, so I waved my magic Writing Utensil of Doom and made some other poor schmuck die in his place. :-( If that bothers you, well… I don't care. Rest in peace Sgt. Boogymeir, no one has realized you're missing yet.

* * *

**poi·son**

_n._

1. A substance taken internally or applied externally that is injurious to health or dangerous to life.

2. A chemical substance that inhibits another substance or a reaction.

* * *

After Megan's show of temper everything ran smoothly and they were 'home' at Atlantis in less than three hours, much to the shock of those in the control room. Peter Grodin chuckled at Kavanagh's disgruntled appearance and the odd bowing and 'Yes, Milady' 'As you wish Milady' comments. He cleared his throat, "I see you're back on time. We weren't expecting you for at lest another six or seven hours." 

Major Lorne smirked smugly, "We had Dr. Steele here to whip them into shape." He nudged her with his elbow, "Ripped Kavanagh a new one when he didn't want to leave. I'm thinking we should coronate her as Queen. More work and less bitching, right Meggy?"

Megan grunted as pushed a lock of long blonde hair out of her mismatched blue and green eyes, "Don't be such an ass David. I wouldn't want to deal with _him_ on a daily basis. Besides…" she pouted playfully, "I left my tiara at the SGC. Now move it. I need to go to the infirmary. Jaren's been keeping the cut on my leg from getting infected, but it would probably still be a good idea to get it looked at. Don't call me Meggy."

The major raised an eyebrow, "Why not?"

Megan's smile was nothing short of _evil_, "I've got three words for you David: 'Harvest of Plenty'."

David flinched, "Damn. You brought that _here_?" he asked in disbelief.

Peter was forgotten as Megan smiled serenely, "There will come a time when I require help disposing of a body, inciting a riot, or doing something else of an illegal nature. I'm just keeping it handy for when I need to secure your unquestioning assistance. Then there's the possibility you'll do something to really piss me off, and then I'll have no choice but to circulate several copies of both still photos and the original video recording itself. Did you know if you listen closely you can actually hear the music and---mmmurfle"

Lorne covered her mouth and pulled her to his chest so he could hiss softly in her ear, "I get the point. No more 'Meggy'. I promise. Just don't go around talking about – oh gross, Megs. What the hell'd you lick me for?"

"Don't be such a baby, Jarhead. I have to go to the infirmary. Let me go."

"Sure thing Princess," he let her go with a wink, "I'm scheduled to fly over to the mainland and help the scientists set up a weather observation station. I'll be gone for a week at most. See you then Magpie!"

"Harvest of Plenty, Major, Harvest of Plenty," she called over her shoulder with a wave.

* * *

Elsewhere in Atlantis, several people were discussing Atlantis's newest resident. "He said I was familiar to him. He asked if we were friends." Teyla spoke softly. 

"How did you respond?" Dr. Weir asked curiously.

"I said we were. After everything he has been through, I thought some positive news could not hurt." Her voice was just as quiet as before, but her eyes dared anyone to contradict her.

"I think you're right. Stabilization is the first critical stage in his psychological treatment." Dr. Heightmeyer nodded her agreement before turning to Elizabeth, "He's doing quite well so far, but it's important we do what we can to ease his recovery."

"What's the next stage?" Dr. Weir asked the psychologist.

"Integration into the community," she ignored Colonel Sheppard's grimace, "followed by relational development."

Elizabeth bit her lip and looked to Dr. Beckett, "How is he doing physically?"

"Excellent," was the immediate response, "Vitals normal. All he needs is a bit of physical therapy to regain muscle tone and coordination."

Dr. Weir pressed her lips into a thin line, "Do you think he's ready to be released?"

Carson nodded, "I do."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Colonel Sheppard made his opinion known, "We still don't know if there are any residual effects he might be carrying around."

Elizabeth turned to Kate, "What do you think, Doctor? Is he ready to join the community?"

"A change of scenery could be very beneficial to him." Dr. Heightmeyer smiled vaguely.

"Alright, then," She stood up, "Release him."

No sooner had the words left her mouth than a nervous nurse's voice came over their headsets, "Er, Doctor Becket? I think we have a slight problem down here in the infirmary."

Carson was on his feet immediately, "What kind of problem lass?"

"Um, well… you see… She came in for bandages, but the cut is bleeding a lot and obviously needs stitches and she won't let me anywhere near her and…" there was a brief scuffle heard over the radio before a new voice came on.

"Hey, anyone there?"

Dr. Beckett let out a relieved breath and gave the others a half-smile, "This is Doctor Beckett, and how can I help you?"

"This is Dr. Megan Steele, and you can start by telling your nurses that cuts bleed if you scrub the scabs off. Don't worry about it. It's about twelve inches long from the knee up on my inner thigh, but very shallow. I've gotten worse scratches from my Nanna's cat," the woman sounded mildly irritated, "All I wanted was some Neosporin and a couple of bandages. I didn't come here to have Clara Barton wash it off with steel wool and the stingy disinfectant crap."

John snorted and Carson shot him a dirty look, "Are ye sure it isn't serious?"

Her sigh was audible over the radio, "Ask Major Lorne, he'd the one who bandaged it for me the first time."

There was silence as everyone in the room looked at one another. "He what?" the Colonel asked incredulously.

"Bah," was her unconcerned response, "I was too busy holding the ice pack to my face. Got myself quite a shiner from one of the damn Ancient devices malfunctioning. Kavanagh is about to have a gruesome string of bad luck…"

Even Elizabeth and Kate had to smile at that. Carson chuckled, "Al'righ. You can have the bandages now, but I want you to come by the infirmary so I can check it before you turn in for the night."

"You just want to take a peek at my _gorgeous_ legs," she told him coyly and started giggling at his indignant sputtering, "So Doc, Amnesia Man looks bored outta his skull. You care if I help him escape and take him to the Commissary where the real food lives?"

Those present exchanged surprised looks before the Colonel took over the situation, "Only if he has his military escort."

There was a short silence on the other end before Megan came back on with a bit of trepidation, "If you're looking for who stole all of Captain Nelson's boxers I can tell you it wasn't ... indistinct muttering… Michael. I'm sure they'll show up in another day or two. Probably on display in a public area, and having absolutely nothing to do with Lt. Kenmore whatsoever."

John closed his eyes, "That isn't why he needs an escort. How long has Captain Nelson been going around the base commando?"

"Ah, since about an hour after the Daedalus docked. Ah, crap. He didn't squeal on me after all… did he? Is there any chance you could pretend I didn't say that?" she asked hopefully.

"Only if I get the story behind it," he smiled innocently at the frowning Dr. Weir and curious looking others, "Something tells me this has got to be good."

"The short, G-rated version is that Lieutenants Nelson and Sanchez thought it was funny to go through my pack and pull out all my undergarments and spare sets of BDU's before a three-day mission with the Tok'ra. It was storming something awful when we arrived, so I had to change clothes the first day. Seeing as I had no spare clothes, Major Lorne lent me one of his shirts. Of course the Jaffa had to attack the camp while my unmentionables were hanging out to dry… Not that kind of tape, it doesn't stick very well to my skin. I need the heavy-duty stuff… NO! I can do it myself. You're not going anywhere near my leg again… Where was I?"

"Your camp was attacked," John watched Carson shake his head and grumble.

"Oh, yeah. We got captured, spent almost a week in a cell on the mothership, escaped, Jose and Logan's shirts were sacrificed in order to bind my ribs, David was concussed pretty badly, and when the Tok'ra finally found us we were covered head to toe in mud. At least they were kind enough to hose us off and lend us some clothes. Let me tell you something, Tok'ra leather chafes. Not that wearing toxic mud was any better. It caused some tripped out hallucinations and I think Doc Fraiser said something about it affecting sperm count. As if the experience wasn't uncomfortable enough, I had to go through it au naturel. I figured it was time for a bit of payback. Ouch. What did I tell you woman! Okay, I'm ready. Come on Lieutenant; let's blow this popsicle stand. I can practically hear the jello calling my name."

* * *

Lt. Michael Kenmore listened in amusement as the woman in front of him argued with both the on duty nurse and then Dr. Beckett himself a few minutes later. He looked up startled when she mentioned him. He was about to ask how she knew about his amnesia when he saw the nurse smile at him and mouth, "Better you than me." 

Michael smiled slightly and was surprised when the strange woman poked him in the side of the head, "What's your name?"

"Lieutenant Michael Kenmore," he swatted her hand away.

"Okay, I'm Dr. Megan Steele," she poked him again just because she could.

He scowled at her until he heard the last part of what she was saying. "Come on Lieutenant; let's blow this popsicle stand. I can practically hear the jello calling my name."

Megan walked over to the bed and looked him over from head to toe, making the man fidget nervously. "I'm not taking you anywhere wearing **_that_**," she gestured to his scrubs and wrinkled her nose, "Hold on a minute and I'll scare you up some _real_ clothes." With that she turned on her heel and was gone before he could protest.

Michael glanced at the nurse pleadingly and she shook her head and chuckled, "Don't give me the sad puppy-dog eyes Lieutenant. Doctor Beckett's the one who released you. I'm sure you and Dr. Steele will have a fine time at lunch."

* * *

The loud clatter of a lunch tray landing on the table next to him startled Rodney out of the calculations he was busy entering into his data pad, "Hey there McKay, long time no see." 

Rodney looked up so fast he just about gave himself whiplash. "You're here. You're really here!" Rodney was so excited Megan was worried that he might try to hug her.

Damn.

"Dr. McKay? Rodney, you can let go now."

"Oh, sorry," he at least had the good grace to look embarrassed, "I didn't know if you'd decide to come. I haven't heard from you in years and then..."

Megan gave him a half-smile and wiped her eyes, "Well, I wouldn't have come except…" her voice dropped to a whisper, "It was the third anniversary ofJose and Garrett's deaths about a week before I got the invite. I'm a widow, Rodney. There's nothing left for me on earth. You, David, and Logan were all here anyways. You three are all the family I have left. Jaren just wanted a new adventure." She took a deep breath and winked at Michael, who was seated across the table, "Where are my manners? Michael, this is Dr. Rodney McKay. Rodney, this is Lt. Michael Kenmore."

McKay cleared his throat, "Er… ah… yes yes, the Lieutenant…"

Megan rolled her eyes and sighed, "He's got amnesia Rodney. It's not like he remembers what an ass you are. I'd give him another day or two before he wants to beat you senseless just like everybody else."

One of Michael's 'escorts' tried unsuccessfully to turn his laugh into a cough. Megan raised an eyebrow in a distinctly Teal'c-like fashion, which set the poor man off again. Rodney squinted his eyes questioningly. "Bah," Megan waved her hand dismissively, "Michael here just got back from being held prisoner by the Wraith. They're just making sure there's nothing wrong with him. Been there, done that. My escorts followed me around the base for nearly three weeks before the General let me go home. It's no big deal," she looked over at Michael sympathetically.

Michael tilted his head to the side, "You have been held captive by the Wraith before?"

Megan snorted, "By the Wraith, no. I just got here about two weeks ago. I have been captured and tortured by enemy aliens with mind-altering technology though. Having human 'shadows' for a while is just protocol. They don't want you to go ape-shit and blow up the base or anything. You'll get used to it. You just have to remember it isn't their fault. They wish they were elsewhere just as much as you do. I actually taught Lt. Hailley how to speak French during our 'together time'. Now shut up, I'm eating."

Michael smiled at her and adjusted the paper crown on her head, catching the scientist's attention.

"What's with the stupid hat?" he asked through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

Megan shrugged, "I chewed out that jerk Kavanagh back on planet Dirt Bowl. The marines named me Goddess and made me a crown. Major Lorne promised me two snickers bars if I wore it all day." She reached across the table to steal some of Michael's fries and give him half of her hamburger.

Rodney choked, "You're kidding!"

Megan snorted, "About chocolate? Never."

Rodney shook his head, "I'm not even going to ask where they got all that glitter."

Megan's amused laughter could be heard all the way out in the hallway.

* * *

"Don't think I don't know what you are." Dr. Kavanagh's voice cut through the group's lighthearted banter an hour later. The room was practically empty so there was no mistaking who he was addressing. 

Megan looked over her shoulder, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Pardon?" she asked coldly.

Kavanagh sneered and spit in her face, "You're nothing but a foul Goa'uld. I don't know what you did or who you slept with to get here, but I'm going to make sure you aren't here long enough to go through with whatever plans you have. It's bad enough we had the Athosians around here for so long, but at least _they_ were human. I don't buy into that Tok'ra difference in philosophy nonsense. The only good Goa'uld is a dead one."

Megan's eyes flashed gold, and before anyone could stop her she had Kavanagh by the neck, lifted clear off the ground, and slammed into the wall. "**I am Jaren of the Tok'ra. You will not speak to my host in such a manner**," her voice echoed menacingly, "**Do not presume to insult my people by comparing us to the vile Goa'uld. Make that mistake a second time and you will not live to make it a third.**"

Kavanagh grimaced triumphantly as he lifted an arm and injected something into the angry Tok'ra's neck. Jaren dropped him and clutched his neck. "**Ha'shak! What have you done?**"

Rodney, Michael, and his escorts were almost there, but the gloating man didn't even notice. "I synthesized a dose of the symbiote poison. When Stargate Command get my report on how careless Dr. Weir and Colonel Sheppard were in allowing you here, they'll be gone, and someone competent will come to take their places." Kavanagh reached down to grab Jaren by his hair.

"**Rhe'u!**" Jaren shouted slapping the hand away, "**Rin'tel'noc!**"

The two guards pulled Kavanagh away just as Jaren/Megan started writhing on the ground and let loose a long bloodcurdling scream…

* * *

**Goa'uld to English translations:**

Ha'shak! Fool!

Rhe'u! Stay back!

Rin'tel'noc! Go/Get away from me!

Tok'ra Against Ra… as in they are _against_ the Goa'uld… Duh!

Just for clarification… Jaren, the Tok'ra symbiote, is a male living inside a female host. He will be referred to as a 'he'. (Kinda like Talon from Neuropsych's "Mitchell Files". _go read them_ Other than the fact that I have a Tok'ra on Atlantis, my story doesn't/won't really have anything in common with that series.)

There, done! This is the end of chapter 2! Part of the conversation in the control room I got off the transcript of the episode 'Michael' on Now, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. If it weren't for your encouragement I never would have posted this chapter so soon. Next time on **_As Atlantis Turns_**: Rodney opens a can of whoop-ass on Kavanagh, Colonel Sheppard gets barfed on by the most unlikely person, and Captain Nelson gets his grunders back.


	3. High as a Kite

Disclaimer: If you honestly think that I own it, I've got some lovely oceanfront property in Arizona you might be interested in…

A/N: A big, big thank you to those of you who have taken the time to review my story so far. It gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling that is usually associated with illegal substances. Unfortunately, it has done nothing for the projectile vomiting that I have spent the last five days coping with. You can thank the Germ Fairy for the rather quick update, seeing as how focusing on writing makes the nausea more bearable and me less bitchy to deal with. Emetrol is a gift from God herself.

* * *

Let it not be said that Megan did things the way normal people do. She never woke in stages. One second she would be asleep, and the next wide awake and alert. It was a trait that many of the SGC soldiers back on Earth envied her. At that moment she would have given anything to have regained consciousness slowly. One minute she's raging and screaming bloody murder in the back of her mind as… as something… Something attacked _her_ Jaren! Something attacked them, and the next thing she new she was bolting upright in an infirmary bed attached to electrodes and multiple IV lines. She coughed and gagged as she pulled a ventilation tube out of her mouth and threw it across the room. 

She wasn't sure who was more surprised at her sudden movement, Doctor Blue-Eyes (he was checking her vitals, so she assumed he was a doctor…) or the tall, intimidating man with dreadlocks that she had just barfed on. Doctor Blue-Eyes made a strangled choking noise and held a hand to his heart as he took a step back. The tall man's face contorted before he turned around and threw up on the soldier standing behind him.

"Oh, gross Ronon," the soldier looked down at the floor in disgust, "Did ya have to get it on my boots? McKay's sitting right next to you…"

Indignant sputtering came from the bed next to hers where two vaguely familiar men were sitting side by side looking scuffed up, bruised, and inordinately proud of themselves. "Very mature, Colonel. Sorry to burst you bubble, but I don't think he had enough time to take aim…"

"Gentlemen," Blue-Eyes tone brooked no argument, "Why don't you both go get cleaned up? Send an orderly to come clean this up while you're out." He watched the two men leave before turning back to her, "And jest what do ye think yer doin?"

Megan looked up from where she was pulling electrodes off her head and chest. "We don't like it when people hook us up to mind control devices," she spat, "We will die before betraying the Tok'ra or Tau'ri. _Kalach shal tek. _Play all the mind games you wish, you and your False God will get _nothing_ from us."

"Oh dear," Blue-Eyes watched her open-mouthed and tapped the radio at his ear, "Elizabeth, we have a problem. Major… Captain, you two better get in here…"

Megan tensed and looked over at the other two men focusing mainly on Rodney, her brow furrowed in confusion. After watching them for several minutes she cleared her throat painfully,"Tal shal mak." Identify yourself.

Dr. McKay rolled his eyes, "Lo tak meta satak Oz." I am the great and powerful Oz.

Megan snorted, "Oz mik'ta-na… Kah'ne?" she asked Rodney, reaching out tentatively. Oz, my arse… Friend?

He gave her a gentle smile, " Ti'u. Tal mal'tiak mal we'ia na'kah'ne. Cha'hai. Atlantis kal mah." Yes. I am honoured to be your friend. It's okay. Atlantis is a sanctuary.

Megan seemed to be gaining awareness of her surroundings, "Kal mah? Rodney?" Sanctuary? Rodney?

Rodney nodded before adopting his condescending 'chewing out the lab techs' tone, "Ti'u, ti'u… Lo tak meta satak McKay. Can we go back to speaking in English now, hm?" Yes, yes… I am the great and powerful McKay.

Megan giggled and clutched her head in pain as laced her fingers through his, "If we must."

"Isn't this touching," a barefoot Colonel Sheppard pouted from beside a shocked Carson, "I leave for two minutes and this is what happens. You two love birds planning the wedding?"

Megan and Rodney gave him identical Glares of Doom #7. "What do you want?" they rudely asked in unision.

Sheppard and Beckett looked so horrified that the silently observant Michael threw his head back and laughed… and laughed… and fell off the bed he and Rodney were sitting on. Beckett took the opprtunity to inject her with a medium strength painkiller.

"Ooommfff!" Michael landed on his broken arm.

Megan nudged him with her foot, "Serves you right. What the hell happened? I feel fuzzy… kinda like the time I smoked pot in college…"

Rodney snorted, and with his usual lack of tact, proceded to tell her his version of events, "Well, by all rights you should be dead. _Kavanagh_ came up to us in the commissary, made some inappropriate comments, got his ass handed to him by Jaren, and injected you with symbiote poison."

Megan rubbed her temples as the drugs Dr. Beckett gave her started to kick in, "Hhn. Explains the headache. I was gonna ask… if anyone got… the number of da… truck dat… hit me… Hmmm… S'm one gave me da _good_ drugs didn't dey? Doc Fraiser says 'm n't opposed ta haff da _good_ drugs…"

Rodney was pracitcaly exploded with pent up frustration, "That's it! 'Oh, wow my head hurts?' Carson! Did you not read her medical file at all! She's a Tok'ra! Tok'ra! You can't just go around giving her meds like she's human! Are you **mad**! _Megan… **Megan**_! You were given a lethal dose of symbiote poison! Both you and Jaren should be DEAD! Would you care to enlighten us as to how you managed to survive!" his voice was getting progressively louder and panicked, "I get to spend less than two hours with you after not seeing you in years, only to watch you get injected with something that made you scream yourself hoarse as you thrashed around on the ground spitting up blood! How is your having a headache supposed to make me feel better! How the Hell did that not kill you!"

By the end of his rant the scientist was shaking like a leaf in the wind and just about in tears. Megan did what she always did in this sort of situation. She lurched across to the other bed, sat down next to him, and pulled him into an awkward hug. They shifted around until he had his arms around her waist and his head buried in the crook of her neck.

"Shhhh, Roddy," she crooned softly, "It's okay. Shhh… 'm here Roddy. I st'll luv you… It's okay."

"No it's not," came the muffled response by her right ear, "It'll never be okay. When I saw you like that, screaming and bleeding… It made me remember, Megs. You, screaming and bleeding, and it being all my fault…"

"Rodney!" Megan's slurred voice cracked through the silent infirmary like a whip, "Not yo' fault. N_ever_ yo' fault. Accidents happen, Roddy. I healed. You need t' let it go."

"I nearly killed you," Rodney's voice was soft and even, "You've been my best friend since forever, and I almost killed you with my arrogance and impatience."

"Don' do this Roddy. It's over. I forgives you long time go. I don' blames you, I never did."

Rodney's arms tightened around her, "When you stopped screaming I thought you'd died. I was _so_ scared Megan. The guards were calling for a med team and holding you down, and there he was watching with a smile. I swear to God, I would have killed Kavanagh if the others hadn't pulled me off 'im. Michael got in few nice shots himself too. We broke a couple of his ribs, knocked out three teeth, and gave him a concussion."

Major Lorne and Captain Nelson arrived with a duffle bag. David elbowed past the Colonel and Doctor Beckett so he could set it on Megan's abandoned bed, "Is that where you two got all the bruises?"

"No," Rodney admitted sheepishly, "We got them trying to get away from the soldiers keeping us from killing Kavanagh."

"It was worth it," Michael wiped at his split lip as he leaned against the wall, "Coward messed himself when Dr. McKay broke loose."

Megan giggled strangely, "Ma heroes."

The major's head snapped up and he held her head still as gently as he could so that he could look her in the eye, "Shit Megs, what'd they give you?"

Rodney snorted derisively, "The Highland sheep-herder gave her one of his voodo potions without looking at her medical charts."

Both David and Logan cringed. David was trying unsuccessfully to convince Megan to follow his finger with her eyes. Captain Nelson shifted nervously, "Er… Doc, just what did you give her? I hope it wasn't Dilaudid, 'cause if it was we're in for a long night."

Carson was once again in full medic panic mode. "Why do ye say that, lad?" He watched the tipsy woman coo at Rodney and pet him like a dog, "What happened?"

Logan bit his lip, "Mag-pie became a Tok'ra host about four years ago. That was a few months before Doc Fraiser died. The two of them tested out every drug in the book to check out which ones she could take and which ones she couldn't. That's how they figured out what doses she needed and what to put on the 'Banned List'."

Carson frowned, "The 'Banned List'?"

Logan snorted, "Injecting her with Dilaudid is like giving her a bad LSD trip with a side of truth serum, and a splash of drunken babbling. She couldn't lie if her life depended on it."

"Lieutenant Michael, you are a very sexy man. Your hair looks so soft… Hey look! Your eyes are blue! My right eye is blue too! My left eye is green though, so mine don't match like yours do. I had a horse with eyes like mine when I was little. Rodney used to tease me about it something awful until Nanna heard him. You shoulda seen the look on his face when Nanna spanked him in front of his girlfriend…"

"Oh, shit." Yeah, that about summed it up.

* * *

It took several minutes to wrestle Megan back into her bed so that Doctor Beckett could take her vitals. By then the others had made themselves comfortable. Megan was spacey and high as a kite. Fortunately the Infirmary had been cleared of everyone but Doctor Beckett, his three patients, Major Lorne, Captain Nelson, and Colonel Sheppard. 

"You never did explain how it was you survived being poisoned," Rodney was nothing if not persistent. He sat in the chair next to her bed playing cards with Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne. Michael watched the game with interest from his bed while Dr. Beckett put a cast on his left arm.

"Vaccination," was Megan's absentminded reply, "You don't honestly think that I would spend _months_ working on the development of the poison and not make sure that I was immune to it, do you?"

"_You_ worked on the development of the toxin?" Carson asked incredulous, "I thought ye were an archeologist and linguist."

"I am," Megan continued making shadow puppets with Logan, "_Jaren_ specializes in Genetics, Healing, and Biological Weapons."

The entire room froze. "Biological Weapons?" John asked faintly.

Megan wasn't paying them any attention, "Yup. Jaren and I have the technological know-how to wipe an entire race from existence."

"You… you do?"

"Oh, absolutely. How do you think we won the war against the Goa'uld?" she shuddered and started to hum to herself.

The Colonel's eyes widened, "The Wraith! You could–"

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'? Do you need tissue samples or something? We could always– "

"No." Megan finally looked up from her game and regarded the man coldly, "We did it once. We made it possible to wipe the Goa'uld from our Galaxy. What we didn't think about at the time were all the innocents it would also kill. Jaren and I have the blood of _millions_ of Jaffa on our hands. Men, women, and children slaughtered because they were unfortunate enough to have been enslaved by monsters posing as Gods. You have no _idea_ what it's like. To have such a burden on your shoulders. The Wraith are our enemy, yes. But… who am I to play God? What right do I have to judge them? What you want is for me to help you commit genocide Colonel, and I won't do it. Never again. Never again. Never, never, never again…"

John looked both horrified and determined. Rodney cut him off before he could say anything, "We're not asking," he shot Sheppard a dirty look, "I know better than to, and now I'll make sure the others don't."

Nelson and Lorne gave their CO glares that could strip the bark off trees. Their warning was silent, but no less clear.

Doctor Beckett cleared his throat, "Tell me about your vaccination," his effort to change the subject was both obvious and appreciated, "If you were immune to the poison, why such an extreme reaction? When I first saw you I could've sworn ye were in–"

"Anaphylactic shock," David finished for him, "They were, among other things. The 'vaccination' is more of a long-term counteragent that's there for when she and Jaren need it. The problem is that there's a chemical produced when the poison is neutralized. They just happen to be –"

"Deathly allergic," Carson nodded in understanding.

"Like Rodney and citrus," she agreed amicably, "That's not all of course. It started burning my lungs like acid, too. Hence the blood spitting and screaming. Very uncomfortable. I didn't like that very much. Don't worry Doc, Jaren's already working on healing the damage, or at least he was."

Despite her reassurance all four men looked sick. Rodney swallowed nervously, "How is he anyways? Jaren, I mean."

Megan giggled, "Silly as ever. You know he's not much of a physical talker. He's all for new and exciting adventure, he's just too lazy to actually participate. He thinks it's fun to give a running commentary while I'm out getting shot at. Right now he's swimming in colors and tasting the sounds in the air. Doc Fraiser said not to take Diluadid for a reason."

"Oh joy."

"Shut up Rodney. Or I'll tell everyone about the time in high school you asked Susie Anderson to Homecoming and she told you—"

"Shut up," he hissed, "I have plenty of dirt on you too, you know."

"That's okay. I don't care very much right now. I'm hot. Can I take off my clothes now?" Megan fingered the hem of her scrubs and started pulling it over her head.

"**No**!"

"Megan!"

"_What are you doing?_!"

"You keep that on, lass!"

"Dr. Steele, maybe you shouldn't—"

"Damn! What the Hell did you give her Carson?"

* * *

**Goa'uld to English Translations**

Tok'ra Against Ra (Name of the Resistance)

Tau'ri the people of Earth

Kalach shal tek Victory or Death

tal shal mak "Identify yourself"

Lo tak meta satak Oz "I am the great and powerful Oz."

Oz mik'ta-na "Oz my arse"

Kah'ne Friend

Ti'u Yes

Tal mal'tiak mal we'ia na'kah'ne_ roughly "_I am honoured to be your friend."

Cha'hai It's okay/Relax

Atlantis kal mah "Atlantis is a sanctuary."

Kal mah? Sanctuary?

Ti'u, ti'u… Lo tak meta satak McKay. Yes, yes… I am the great and powerful McKay.

* * *

Next chapter is going to be a bit of backstory, but after that we'll be seeing a lot more of Major Lorne, Captain Nelson, and Michael. 


	4. Telepathic Ramblings

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis. I do however, own the first season on DVD, so that I can watch it whenever I damn well please. Nanner-nanner-nanner.

A/N: This chapter is my almost logical attempt at setting things up so that I can do a metric buttload of flashbacks without everyone getting bent out of shape about it. This is an opportunity to kinda get inside Megan's head and understand her pre-existing relationships with those around her. Okay, instead of having one long confusing chapter where the flashbacks come out of nowhere, in the next chapter Megan's going to dream them as she sleeps off the sedative. You'll also be getting a bit of backstory on Rodney, Lorne's team, and Megan's husband then too.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Megan knew this wasn't going to be fun. Most of the day she had spent in a drug-induced haze, but now she was beginning to be more aware of what was coming out of her mouth. God was she glad that it was just her and her boys right now. If anyone else were to hear the things she'd been saying she'd have to hunt them down and kill them. Kinda like how she planned to kill Kavanagh. She was pretty sure no one would really miss him, and if she played her cards right she could probably make it look like an accident. Some kind of accident that meant he needed to be cremated. Yeah, that would work. A lab accident. He shouldn't have been playing with technology he didn't understand…

"Megan?" David's voice interrupted her train of thought, "If you keep this up, the rest of us won't be able to plead ignorance."

Did she say that out loud? Crap.

"Yeah, you did," Logan laughed.

Was he laughing at her? He wouldn't be laughing tomorrow morning when he found his underpants hanging from the ceiling in the Commissary.

"What!" he yelped, "You hung my boxers _where_!"

How did he know… Oh, no! She was telepathic! She must be broadcasting her thoughts to everyone in the area! Shitshitshit! What if they found out about the time she and Garrett went trespassing in the woods and went skinny dipping in the pond and…

"For the love of God Megan you are not telepathic! You're saying everything out loud, and the last thing I ever want to hear about is anything that involves you being naked!" Rodney bellowed, "Shut up and go to sleep already!"

Sleep? They wanted her to go to sleep? Were they crazy? That's where the memories lived! Jaren was too sick to keep her under, to keep her from dreaming. Dreaming was bad. Bad bad. Dreaming lead to memories, and memories hurt. She didn't like memories. They reminded her that she'd lost everything. Everyone.

She was diseased. Friends were fleeting. They died too soon. Maybe she shouldn't be so outgoing. She was a people person, and look where that got the people! There had to be almost a dozen of her colleagues – her friends – that left with the original expedition. They all died. The nanovirus took many of them. Wraith took the others. Gaul shot himself. Gaul was sweet, caring, and shy. He would drop by to pick up his translations and he'd leave her a Snickers bar. She'd never see his silly smile or hear his unmanly squeals of excitement again. She missed him. It was probably her fault he died. She must have infected him with her curse. She killed everyone.

Wait, not everyone. She still had Rodney and David and Logan. She had them now, but for how long? They were going to leaver her again, she knew it. There would come a day when Rodney ran out of miracles to pull out of his ass, and when that day came David and Logan would be on the front lines fighting and dieing. They would leave her, just like everybody else. They were going to die and leave her all alone. She still had Jaren, but for how long? If they died, she wasn't so sure that she would want to live. She'd be alone. Alone, alone, alone…

"Megan, honey," Rodney was on the verge of tears, "You can't think like that okay? There's nothing wrong with you. Gaul's death was tragic, yes, but it had absolutely nothing to do with you. Blame the Wraith, Mag-pie. They're the ones who are doing the killing."

The Wraith. They killed humans. Like the Goa'uld. No, not like the Goa'uld. The Goa'uld killed and enslaved humans because they were power hungry narcissists. They lived under delusions of God-hood. The Wraith did not hide their purpose. Humans were food. Food. Like a Megan Milkshake with a shot of Jaren Juice or a Rodney Sandwich. Huh. Cattle! Humans were Wraith cattle! Watched over and culled when the herd got too big. Yup. She was a Megan Milkshake. Wraith had to eat, too! She wondered if they had their own version of PETA. That would be silly! WETH. Wraith for the Ethical Treatment of Humans…

"Okay, is anyone else here getting creeped out?" Rodney's voice broke, "Carson? Can't you give her something? Anything?"

"Rodney, I'm with Michael right now," Carson sounded peeved, "I'll be there in a few minutes. She isn't hurting anything."

She knew that accent. Scottish. Why – GARRETT! Garrett was here! She wanted him. She wanted him now! He'd hold her hand and tell her everything would be okay. He'd be lying of course, and they both knew it, but it was the thought that counts. Isn't it? Garrett… Garrett? Where was her Garrett? She just heard him a second ago. Where did he go? Maybe she should find him. Yes. She should find him.

"Megan, calm down. Nelson! Help me hold her down."

"I got her legs," Rodney grunted as he got a knee to the face, "You two hold her arms."

Traitors. Couldn't they see she wanted Garrett? They were keeping her husband from her. Garrett would make things better. Garrett always made things better. Even if she did have to listen to his Godawful bagpipe playing and lie about how much she loved it.

Killing cats. That's what it sounded like, and he liked to practice at sunrise. She'd even listen to it right now, if it meant they'd let him come. Bah, the only thing she liked about bagpipes was the after practice 'Good Morning' sex. Oh, yeah. She wanted Garrett. And Garrett sex. Oh! With the maple caramel syrup Rodney sent last Christmas. Hmmm… Garret and caramel…. Garrett! She wanted Garrett to hold her and tell her everything was gonna be okay. Jaren was sleeping; he couldn't lie to her right now. She wanted Garret Lies…

"Jesus Christ, Doc!" Logan yelled as he got hit in the face, "Bring a sedative!"

"Aye, keep yer pants on lad! It's been a long day fer all of us. I jest went ta find some restraints."

There! She heard him. He was here! Restraints… Restraints? Oh! Does that mean we're gonna play? Garrett always loved the Handcuffs. Did he bring the riding crop too? She hoped so…

"Oh God Carson, please," Rodney went from pale to sickly green in two seconds flat, "Make her stop. Please make her stop. There are just some things a man does _not_ want to know about his little sister's love life!"

Why was Rodney here anyways? She didn't want to share. That plus he was _Rodney_. Ick. She'd rather have girlie sex with Samantha Carter. Oh, there was a thought. She hadn't done something like that since she smoked pot in college.

Oh, she was starting to feel kinda tired. She just wanted Garrett to hold her hand. Oh, he was. He's lying to her now too. This… was why… she loved him… so…much…

Carson, Rodney, David, Logan, and Michael all watched as Megan slowly calmed down and fell asleep. As soon as he was sure that she was down for the count Carson stopped talking and carefully pulled his hand from her limp grasp, "I can't honestly decide whose drugged ramblings were worse. Megan's or Rodney's."

Rodney scowled, "Hers obviously! Megan Milkshakes… This is exactly why I never wanted to know what it is that goes on inside her head."

Okay, next chapter you'll be getting the promised flashbacks.


	5. Memories

Disclaimer: Dude, if it hasn't penetrated your awareness yet that I, like, totally don't own Stargte Atlantis… What are you smoking, and where can I find some?

A/N: I'm taking liberties with Rodney's childhood, and totally disregarding what we've learned about cannon 'Jeannie'. My Spell Checker isn't working, so there might be some mistakes. It has been so long since I last updated, that I'm afraid to put it off any longer, or else it will never get done. This will be a Flashback chapter with a reality check now and then. Enjoy.

* * *

"That's okay. I don't care very much right now. I'm hot. Can I take off my clothes now?" Megan fingered the hem of her scrubs and started pulling it over her head. 

"**No**!"

"Megan!"

"_What are you doing?_!"

"You keep that on, lass!"

"Dr. Steele, maybe you shouldn't—"

"Damn! What the Hell did you give her Carson?"

David and Logan each grabbed an arm to pull down, Rodney covered his face with his hands, Dr. Beckett pulled his hair in frustration, John turned away trying not to laugh, and Michael blushed an interesting shade of 'tomato'.

Megan whimpered pathetically, "Hot and sweaty. Want a shower…"

Carson Beckett summoned up his best 'when pigs fly' glare. "No," he was calm and unmoving, "I can't let you do that by yourself, and I sent the nurses away for the afternoon because of your off-color remarks."

Megan rubbed her temples, "David and Logan will help."

"No lass, absolutely–"

"Alright Megs."

"Why not? We packed practically your entire bathroom into the duffle anyways."

Both men started unlacing their boots while Michael, Carson, and John looked on disbelievingly. Rodney poked at his bandaged ankle and scowled, "Ouch. Don't forget to put that detangling crap on her hair, or else we're going to have to _cut_ the snarls out in a day or two."

Logan sighed and took off his tee shirt, leaving him barefoot in his pants as he reached for Megan's elbow, "We know the drill McKay. We've done this more times than I care to remember."

David grunted as he emptied his pockets and stuffed his socks in his boots and set them next to his folded jacket and shirt. "Don't remind me. To be fair though, it was _us_ doped up just as often as it was her."

Neither of them looked back as they half-carried their ex-teammate to the infirmary showers. The Colonel was about to stand when Rodney grabbed his wrist. "Leave them alone. They were on the same SG team for about eight years before Lorne and Nelson came to Atlantis. They've seen each other at their worst, and this isn't even close."

John sat back down, folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow. "And you would know this _how_?"

Rodney's face was unreadable, "My older sister Jeannie ran away with her drug dealer boyfriend when he got her pregnant at seventeen. I was only about eight when that happened, and when our parents died two years later she didn't even come to the funeral. I got sent away to live with my grandmother and younger cousin, and she never even took the time to write a letter asking if I was okay."

John frowned, "I know you don't talk all that much about your sister, but what does that have to do with anything?"

Rodney's eyes widened and looked suspiciously wet. "_Everything_," he breathed, "Megan will be fine. They'd never hurt her, if only for the reason that they know I'd kill them if they did."

John and Carson blinked at the vehemence with which the usually arrogant scientist spoke. Michael, on the other hand was confused and not ashamed to admit it. "I don't understand. Why would you–"

Rodney snarled at the man, an honest to God lip-curling rotwiler snarl. "_Because she's my baby sister._"

Silence.

Long, uncomfortable silence.

Colonel Sheppard couldn't resist, "Huh. I guess you musta crawled out of the 'ugly' end of the gene pool."

"Very funny Colonel."

"I thought so."

* * *

Flashbacks

* * *

Nine-year-old Megan McKay crawled through a hole in the wooden mesh surrounding the old front porch dragging a pink Care Bear bookbag behind her. Without a word she sidled up alongside a teary-eyed grief-stricken ten-year-old Rodney and pulled a slightly mashed PB&J sandwich out of the bag and handed it to him. Rodney sniffled a bit and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his black dress shirt before taking a bite.

Megan tried unsuccessfully to brush dirt and cobwebs off her somber black sundress. They sat in companionable silence for a long while before she leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Nanna says there are holes in the floor of heaven for Aunt Julie and Uncle Rupert to watch us grow up. Let's make them proud, Roddy."

* * *

It was getting to be the end of the most wonderful day of her life. Rodney caught her just as she was about to leave the reception hall with her new husband. Megan couldn't remember ever seeing him look so nervous. It wasn't until after he'd thrust something in her hands, kissed her cheek, and left that she realized why. 

He'd given her his mother's locket.

* * *

Funerals were an all too frequent part of life to those who were part of the SGC. Fortunately they'd put off this particular _group_ memorial service until after she'd woken from her coma and was able to be wheeled down to the cemetery for their funerals. She wasn't the only widow burying her husband after the most recent battle. 

Megan sat in her wheelchair feeling numb throughout the entire affair. It wasn't until the first handfuls of dirt were cast upon the graves that the truth finally sank in.

She'd just lost her husband and her 'brother'.

She _howled_ until she was sedated.

* * *

Megan wanted a puppy to play fetch with. Rodney wanted an Ewok for reasons beyond anyone's comprehension. Nanna got them a kitten, and both children were satisfied. At least until he peed on Rodney's bed and left a dead mouse in Megan's shoe.

* * *

Though it was not something many people knew, both Megan and Rodney had participated in competitive ballroom dancing during their teenage years. It was an activity that Rodney remembered his mother and father taking great joy in, and so to Megan's 11-year-old logic it was something the two of them simply _had_ to learn. 

They never won any medals or anything, but in some small way it helped Rodney feel closer to his departed parents. When he'd said as much Megan only shrugged and winked, "It's probably 'cause the two of them are watching us from the 'Great Beyond' and laughing their asses off."

* * *

End Flashbacks

* * *

When Megan finally regained conciousness it was the middle of the night and the infirmary was practically deserted. Her head was fuzzy and she was slightly confused. Seeing David and Logan sleeping in awkward positions in uncomfortable plastic chairs allievated her fear, but not her curiosity. She _knew_ she was in an infirmary of some sort, but _where_? Thinking so much was giving her a headache, and the familiar warmth of Jaren's thoughts lay just out of reach. 

"Garrett?" she called softly so as not to wake her teammates. She thought she heard him earlier. If David and Logan were here then where was the fourth member of their team? "Jose?"

Neither answered her, but someone in the next bed over shifted positions. Curiosity killed the cat, but Megan reasoned that the Tok'ra were made of sterner stuff than that as she carefully sat up and swung her legs out of bed. She grimaced and idly wondered what the hell she'd done to herself this time. If the tingly feeling she had in the pit of her stomach was any indication, she figured she must have been injured while Doc Fraiser was off duty and an infirmary newbie gave her something off the Banned List. It wouldn't be the first time, and she sincerely doubted that it would be the last.

Megan took a deep breath and heaved herself off her bed and staggered toward where she heard the movement. Experience told her that if Garrett and Jose weren't sitting with David and Logan then they were probably laid up right along side her. She moved the curtain divider aside just as she was hit with a dizzy spell and stumbled up to the bed.

"Doctor Steele?" she felt a sleepy male voice rumble from where she had her face buried in his chest.

"Garrett? Jose?" she asked even though she knew it wasn't them.

"Huh? No. I'm Michael. What are you doing over here?" he asked as he awkwardly tried to help her upright again, only to hiss in pain as he jostled his broken arm.

"Sorry," Megan mumbled as she tried to back away, only to stop as she got dizzy once again.

Michael saw her start to sway and moved to the side a bit, "Sit down before you fall. I don't think I'd be able to pick you up off the floor if you do."

Megan giggled. "I don't think you could either. Have you seen my husband? His name's Garrett."

Michael frowned. She had mentioned that name more than once during her drugged ramblings. He was under the impression that the man was dead, for several years even.

"Jaren's down for the count right now. I should probably find Doc Fraiser and see if there's anything she can give me for my headache that won't have _unpleasant_ side affects."

Alarm bells were ringing inside his head now. Michael _knew_ that this 'Doc Fraiser' woman was dead. Captain Nelson had said as much. "Do you know where you are?"

The nasty look she shot him was pure McKay. "The infirmary."

Michael sighed, "Do you know where the infirmary is?"

Megan frowned and looked around with increasing unease, "Not the SGC's?" she asked in a small voice.

"No Megs, you're not."

Both Megan and Michael jumped at the sound of Rodney's voice echoing through the silent room.

"We're on Atlantis. You can't get anything from Doctor Fraiser because she died three years ago. Staff blast to the chest off world while trying to save an injured airman."

Megan's eyes widened and she shook her head in denial, "No…no… not Janet…"

Rodney came to stand on the other side of Michael's bed. "You already knew that. You have to remember…"

She frowned and looked into his incredibly blue eyes with fear, "Garrett and Jose?"

Rodney's eyes became suspiciously wet, "I'm sorry Meggy. They're dead too. SG-16 and 19 were caught in an ambush off-world. You would have died too if it weren't for Jaren. You know this! You have to focus, Megs. You've spent nearly two days high on one of the Banned meds."

"I lost the baby… didn't I?"

"Yes."

"I didn't even know that I was pregnant until Janet told me I'd lost it."

"I know."

"Can you help me to my bed Roddy? I- I want to go back to sleep now."

Michael watched them leave, amazed at how the confidant warrior of two days ago could look so fragile and lost.

* * *

There! I did it! I updated! 


End file.
